Making “light”.

by Tamara Sawyer

It has been mentioned by some, very few thankfully, that perhaps I am making “light” of my situation, not only here in jail, but at what has transpired in Kevin and I’s life over the past few years. I assure you there has been nothing light about it. Not for me, not for my husband, not for my very best friend who found out her cancer was back the week after our sentencing and is fighting for her life without either Kevin or I there to support her and stand by her while she goes thru it. Not for his mother, who is turning 100 this year, is losing her memory at a rapid rate, had to be taken out of our home and placed in a care facility. We will not be present to celebrate this memorable birthday with her. Not for our children, who are not only without their parents right now, but also are trying to handle all of our business affairs while we are plucked out of their lives for a period of time. Not for our grandchildren, who’s favorite people in most of their little world’s are their grandparents. Light, is a word that is the furthest thing away from how we have felt, what we have gone through, the emotions, the friendships, the heart ache, every last bit of it.

When Kevin and I entered this battle we decided early on that we would fight this battle fairly, valiently, and bring every ounce of who we are, and our character to the ring. We have done that. We also decided that we would live every moment of the misery that was going to ensue, by showing up in every moment, living it, learning from it, and making the absolute most of it. We have done that, and we continue to do that. We prepared, we did everything we knew how to do to protect ourselves, and our families and our friends from what our justice system calls justice. There are many facets to this journey we have been on. There is nothing we take more seriously than the past 4 years of our lives, I assure you of that fact. It’s impossible for any of us to know what someone is going thru unless we have walked in their shoes.