by Tamara Sawyer

It’s time I talk about this I suppose, because, as I am sure it’s not something my husband has to deal with a lot, if ever, it sure is something that is front and center here at FCI Dublin, so I have a couple of funny stories that will help everyone get a feel for just how serious they are about it NOT happening here…..

We have small windows in our doors that lead to the outside lobby areas that are about a foot long and maybe 5 inches wide or so. During the night when they do count they flash high powered flashlights through that window to make sure everyone is in bed, luckily I am a great sleeper and it never bothers me but you would be amazed at how much it bothers a lot of the woman here. Regardless, right below the window and to the right are our toilets so we all have these little things we have made to put in the window only covering it half way to let someone know that someone in that room is using the restroom. Depending on the CO that is working, we get away with it all the time, but some of them refuse to let us ever use them. So my room is at the base of 3 steps leading down into the hall way from the huge day room where everyone gathers and watches TV, plays games, or just works on hobby craft projects etc. It is also right under the stairs that lead to the upper level where all the computers are. So suffice it to say, while my room is very popular anyway because everyone likes to come and visit, if any of us are dressing it’s pretty fair game for anyone to see in. Dublin has been hiring lot’s of new CO’s lately and its not hard to figure out how their training is ran based on a few small facts regarding homosexing……for instance while I was sitting on my bed with my door blocker in on Friday, putting lotion on my legs fresh out of the shower imagine my surprise when all of a sudden there was a ferocious bang, bang, bang on my door and it came flying open with more vigor than I have ever seen and there stood the new female CO in our unit. The funniest part was I think she was more mortified than I was for sure after finding absolutely nothing at all going on in my room except for me sitting there innocently applying a fresh layer of lotion to my legs in my robe……

Well I promptly went down and told my friend Crush about it, her room in on the end of our unit across from the lieutenants office, looking out over the compound. Crush is a 30 year old retired school teacher from Hawaii. Beautiful, witty, funny, this woman has it all going on. After we got down laughing about my little “situation” she told me that 6 months ago her neck and back were hurting really bad and someone told her that she should lay on her princess bed (all of our rooms have 1 single bed aka “princess bed” and then a bunk bed, which is what I am on) and put her legs on the wall and lean her head off the bed so that it stretches the other way. Well she had no more than got in this pose with her legs in the air on the wall, when seconds later she hears what sounded like a swat team entering the side exit door by her room that no one ever uses, and all of a sudden her door is practically ripped off the hinges opened, and there stood 2 lieutenants with dumbfounded looks on their faces when they saw her laying there upside down ALONE with her legs in the air!!!!! Okay couldn’t quit laughing for an hour on that one. She said it took them a full minute to say anything, they just kept staring at her. And she just laid there looking at them. They closed the door and left.

Oh and by the way…….trust and believe………..it happens all the time. Usually right in front of their eyes and they just look the other way……………I have had an education I never thought I would have. So many stories to talk about when I get home.

Happy Veterans Day everyone. And to all my friends that showed up here this weekend and couldn’t get in:(((((( I am so so so so so sad but you better come back soon.